


Not Over You

by shadowymagix



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Angst, F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-31
Updated: 2011-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 13:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowymagix/pseuds/shadowymagix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic using “Not Over You” by Gavin DeGraw.</p><p>Vriska is officially dead now—but then, so is John. Or at least, the other John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Over You

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Act 5 ahead!

                It would be stupid of her to decide that she wasn’t dead. Vriska knew all too well the pain of the knife through her heart and the seemingly eternal darkness that followed. She knew where she would be going next and what would happen to her.

                It was a _just_ death after all. A hero does not kill civilians for no reason.

                _Dreams_  
                _That’s where I have to go_

                When she woke up again, she did not expect the white wonderland or the cold weather that surrounded her. Luckily, her god-tier outfit seemed to have a built-in insulation device, so she was kept within temperatures she was used to back on Alternia. Her eyes pupils wandered around her surroundings, until she was drawn up to a window a story above her.

                She recognized this as John’s house.

                Vriska stopped and tried to remember the last few minutes of her life.

                She had been in the dream bubble before. She was talking to John. A few blank splotches in her memory were abnormal and she wanted to cry out in indignation of this whole mess when it all rained down.

                She wasn’t supposed to die! She was supposed to be the hero! She was supposed to kill Bec Noir and finally receive recognition for her deeds. Maybe then people wouldn’t hate her so much anymore (platonically so). She would have saved their lives. She would have been the hero that her god-tier dictated.

                It was unfair, she fumed.

                John’s silhouette was at the window and she looked up, blank eyes staring into his. After a minute, he disappeared again and she sighed, kicking the white, fluffy mess in front of her. It had to be white, didn’t it?

                The front door opened and she looked up. John came out in a blue jacket with a black one in tow. It looked almost exactly like the one she wore back before she achieved god-tier status. But her mind was drawn to John. They had finally met. Maybe now they could have their date that he promised.

                _To see your beautiful face anymore_

                “So, it seems you are in fact an alien, with horns and everything,” John started, staring her up and down. She let him examine her, trying to find what her usual response would have been. “Huh.”

                “Yes, John, horns and all. That totally proves I’m an alien beyond a shadow of a doubt!” she chastised, shaking her head. Really, had humans really never seen a horned being? She scoffed. “Weren't those supposed to be aliens on one of your posters?”

                “Haha, you mean mac and me? Yeah, even I can admit that movie was indefensible,” he responded, laughing. Vriska almost pitied herself for letting her blood-pumping box beat faster than it should have. But John was even more pitiful, really. And it eased her to know that her flushed feelings were returned… even if he might not have remembered any of it.

                “Fuck, I cannot belieeeeeeeeve how cold it is on this planet. How can any species possibly be able to survive somewhere like this?” she whined, rubbing her arms. It was _a lot_ hotter on Alternia—and much more comfortable too.

                “Yeah, I thought you looked pretty cold out here,” he held out the hand with the black jacket in tow. “So I brought you this jacket.”

                _I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio_

                Her outfit suddenly switched to her usual shirt and jeans as she had imagined them. Vriska knew much more about how dream bubbles worked than he did, which meant he wasn’t in the mentality that he was dead yet. She graciously accepted it and admitted she felt a bit warmer.

                “Thanks. So, is this how humans begin an earth date?” she inquired, getting straight to the point. If at any time John remembered, she would be prepared to finally go on that date she was promised. “With simple acts of flattery and kindness?”

                _Hope  
                Hope there’s a conversation_

                “Um, I don't know about that, really. It just seemed like the nice thing to do…” he paused, hesitant at his next question. “Is… is this a date?”

                “No. I've decided this definitely will not be a date,” she quickly responded, though she didn’t want to. A date without memories was meaningless, but it was a date. She wanted to reach over and just start spilling out everything that happened. “Not until you remember something, at least.”

                _We both admit we had it good_

                “Well... Since I am presuming you are new to the planet,” he turned to the street and gestured for her to follow. “I could show you around the place.”

                The rest of the day was spent trying to get John to remember what had happened in the game. Vriska had succeeded, but much to her chagrin it wasn’t the John she knew, and she wasn’t the Vriska that he never knew. Again, she told herself, it just wasn’t fair.

                _But until then it’s alienation  
                I know that much is understood_

                Everything was Terezi’s fault.

                John’s early death. Her death. This dream bubble.

                This date which she will never have.

                Eventually, they made their way back to John’s house. With John’s new revelation of events that had changed his life, his house didn’t lie in the suburban neighborhood that he had grown up around anymore. It was on top of Vriska’s world. And his dad? Gone.

                However, John didn’t seem to mind all that much.

                “You can stay here or go back to your world, I guess?” he said sheepishly, scratching his cheek. “I don’t know if I have any of that slime that you say you use to sleep in.”

                “It’s fine, John. I can stay here,” she replied, reluctant to go back to her own dream bubble. She would stay with John for as long as she could. She couldn’t lose him again. “I can just imagine another recuperacoon.”

                “Ah, hey, awesome,” he said, leading her into his multiple-story house after Rose’s construction for him to reach the first gate. “I have a lot of rooms available for you to stay in!”

                Vriska only nodded to his invitation and he led her to the stairway going up the top. He told her she could choose any room she wanted. She turned to him and asked if she could just use the extension block in his room where the Totem Lathe was deployed.

                “I dunno, it feels weird to have a girl sleeping in the same room as me,” he said, trying in vain to hide his blush. “Much less an alien girl!”

                “We can build a wall, I won’t need too much room for my respiteblock anymore,” she reassured. She would stay with him, and as close to him as she could while at it. Vriska couldn’t afford to let him stray from her sight anymore.

                “Well alright! Oh, I forgot to ask, but what do trolls eat? I’m sure you’re a bit hungry,”

                “I’ll have some of that human food. I told your other self… that it would be nice… to be a human…”

                _And I realize…_

                “That makes things a lot easier! I’m sure I have some of those microwave meals we can eat! The dining room is just down the hall!”

                Not noticing her somber mood, he disappeared down the stairs and into the kitchen. Vriska growled in frustration. Things weren’t going the way she wanted them to. It was bad to wish for the other John to be dead, too, she would later realize. But right now, that’s all she wanted. For the John that returned her flushed feelings to be here right now. Not the John that hardly knew her.

                “I can do this,” she told herself. “We can get to know each other again like he promised.”

                Vriska descended and took a seat in the dining room that John mentioned, waiting for him to appear. She noticed that the table was small, and set for a quantity of four people; not like the large dining hall in her hive that she had ordered the robots to build for her when she was still a grub.

                _If you ask me how I’m doing_

                “Here we go, two earth meals for dinner! Ta-da!” John appeared with two plastic trays in hand along with the appropriate silverware. “It’s not much, but maybe I can look through Dad’s cookbooks and see what else we can make for later!”

                Vriska smiled at his antics and took her serving. “Cookbook?” she asked.

                “Yeah, you know, a book full of recipes to make dishes!”

                “You actually take time to prepare your food?”

                “Well, yeah. What do trolls do?”

                “We just eat it raw.”

                John made a face and Vriska cracked a grin, taking the fork and stabbing the mashed potatoes in front of her. John laughed and proceeded to instruct her on the use of human utensils for eating. She huffed but smiled a tiny bit through the whole ordeal.

                _I would say I’m doing just fine_

                After dinner, John, like the true gentleman he was, proceeded to lead her up to the dual room that they would share. He offered to help build the wall for her, but she declined and said she could do it herself. John mockingly saluted her and went back downstairs to clean up the table after their dinner.

                Vriska closed her eyes and imagined the walls of her own hive back on Alternia, along with a door. The result was a stark contrast to John’s white walls compared to her black ones, but she didn’t mind (though John made a comment).

                “Maybe we can do more things tomorrow,” John’s voice drifted through the door and Vriska shifted in the spoor slime that was enclosing her.

                “Sure,” she replied absently.

                “Are you alright in there?”

                “Just fine, John. Good night.”

                _I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind_

                No other words were exchanged and Vriska assumed that John had finally fallen asleep. She sat up, the slime receding down her body and back into the mouth of the recuperacoon by the force of gravity. Funny how the laws of physics still worked in the dream bubbles. She stepped bare-footed and naked onto the carpet, staining it with more slime.

                _But I go out  
                and I sit down_

                The one thing they couldn’t imagine in dream bubbles were other people. The only way two beings could meet was if their dream bubbles bumped into each other. Vriska had migrated from hers to his so that she wouldn’t be separated from him.

                But even knowing this fact, she tried to imagine the John that she knew. With his doofy grin, and god-tier clothes, and his smile, and his _everything_.

                _At a table set for two_

                Nothing appeared.

                _And finally I’m forced to face the truth._

                “Please,” she whispered as quietly as she could. “This is my first ever asking, not taking. Just please. Please, please, please. _Please_.”

                Her mechanical arm reached out to touch the empty air and she held back the tears that threatened to spill from her thoughts. She was strong, and she wouldn’t cry over a stupid human like John Egbert.

                “I love you, you stupid John Egbert human. Why can’t you remember me?” she choked out, falling to her knees. It was cold without her clothes on, but she didn’t care. Her shoulders shook as she proceeded to spill out every single one of her feelings to the thin air.

                “Vriska,”

                She looked up, white eyes wide in fear for being caught. But she saw no one. The door was still shut tight and the window was too.

                “John…?”

                “Vriska,”

                “John!” she almost shouted, getting to her feet. That voice sounded familiar, and she knew that tone anywhere. It wasn’t the John that was sleeping in the other room. It was the John that she knew and had confessed her feelings to.

                _No matter what I say  
                I’m_

                There was no response.

                “John…”

                _Not over you_


End file.
